Mal
At about 11:45 pm every night, the first of the night-shift nurses can be seen walking down the halls to the break room to replace the evening nurses. Their drive to the hospital took them out of the city, and into the edges of the hill country. The parking lot is mostly always empty and the sky is usually clear.
The halls are quiet.
One night, three doors down from Eenil, on the North side of the hall, George sat awake with a small light on, writing and writing and writing. Until 1 or 2 or 3 am, every night, George wrote about his experiences. He hoped that someday he would publish his work, and it would be a best-selling prize winning book about his life at this institute. Until then he planned to keep it a secret, and so each night after writing, he put his papers in his closet, wrapped in a shirt on the top shelf in the far right corner.
Bent over a table, in the near dark of room 301, with a blue pen in hand and stacks of paper on the floor all around him, he wrote, pausing to look up and gaze at his wall, and to chew on the end of his ballpoint plastic pen, which was quite chewed on by now:
_____________________
"The night falls huskily upon this place. My neighbors do various strange things behind their doors, but I wouldn't know it unless I too was doing a strange thing behind my door. It is humid here. The humidity is like a serum. It seeps into the walls, like a wandering fog, I can see it sneak under my door, and it looks like me! Well, it looks like me if I were in a mood of curiosity, finding my way through the crevasses of my soul. Each room is just like the next one, if you were to just look at it. We are alone here. But it's different from the one we knew before because now it’s the very person that is being fixed. Outside, it's like you're floating, just floating. You don't have to pay much attention if you are not yourself being payed attention to. It changes you to be observed and cared for and crooned over But why can't I have the things I want.
Yesterday Charlie who lives across from me crumbled, and I saw it coming. We were in the common area and I was watching Eenil and holding my newspaper. She was leaning against a window, and she turned around, slowly, the way she is, and stood there and watched me until Charlie came through the door with the two nurses following him. Eenil's hair is so beautiful. It is long
and black, and it reflects the light like a crow when she's standing by the window. As Charlie walked in front of us, she sank to the floor, sort of catatonic-like, and looked up at the ceiling. She layed down, crossed her hands on her chest, and looked up at the lights. And there was Charlie, crossing the room slowly, and he just stopped. He turned around and nocked Marcus down, (he's one of the nurses) and his chart papers went flying, and then Charlie dropped to his knees and just screamed.
He’s in his room right now. If I shut my eyes, I can see him sitting on his bed holding his imagination. He told me about Mal once, and I just listened to him and didn't say anything and he looked pretty nervous that he was telling me. He’s probably afraid of what to do now. He’s afraid of so many things that I can’t count. He’s been crying. I told Dora not to tell him! Dora's a nurse too. I told her about Mal, and how Charlie believes in Mal, but that Mal's not real. I think they told him today and thats why this happened."
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In Charlie's room
Hi Charlie
-
Where are you?
I’m sitting here, sitting on my bed.
But where are you?
On my bed!
Thats not what I mean.
What do you mean?
Well, why are you in a hospital?
I don’t know.
Do you have any friends?
Yes, I think so. George and Eenil are my friends.
Are you sure?
We share things. I like to share things with them.
What sorts of things?
Things we find.
Do you love her?
yes. no. i don’t know.
Do you love him?
I don’t want Mal to die.
What is love Charlie?
I don't know.
I don’t want to talk anymore.
.....
Does she love you?
I dont know.
She couldn’t.
Yes she could.
Ok.
