From the preface to my physics book, "Waves," Soseki:

Clear-colored stones
are vibrating in the brook-bed....
or the water is.

Can't sleep.
____________________

I couldn't sleep this morning. It was awful, I almost went for a run, but I couldn't find my keys or my card in the dark, so I just layed down pathetically on my bed, curled up under my blanket and fell into a blissful dark sleep, 30 minutes before my alam rang. Physics is awesome. I love my class. I didn't even look at my watch once, and when the bell rang (at about 3000 decibals) at 9:50 I nearly jumped out of my chair.

So I took some personality tests while I couldn't sleep. And discovered that if I were an STD, I would be genital herpies, my patron subgenius diety is MWOWM "the greatest creation of Xist technology which can alter reality at will and create anything imaginable. The Pink fools will think it a gift!" And this one:

If I were a hygiene product, I'd be

Click here to find out which hygiene product you'd be at BRAINPUKE.COM!

Now I must study.

Scroggle

Life is beautiful. I even enjoyed differential equations at 8am today. What the hell is wrong with me! I've been making my bed and putting my clothes away too. This isn't the samia I knew from last year. At least, not the same slothful, gluttonous one. :o) My math teacher seems to be a middle aged French guy. I think the funniest thing he said today was this (flayling his European arms of corse): "If you don't know what you're doing, then doing it faster is pointless!" And yes he was talking about differential equations.

I saw Seven last night with Argyrios, Leonel and Argyrios's adorable roommate Alex, and now I know the seven deadly sins. They are, in descending order: Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Lust, Pride, Envy, and Wrath. I think gluttony is the worse. Gluttony is the cause of so many of the world's problems. I think gluttony, greed, and sloth basically cover it all. We're lazy, selfish creatures. But honestly, when directed properly, I don't see the problem with lust. Or wrath for that matter. If you don't feel wrath every now and then, then how can you really love anything?

I just ran into a girl I met this summer and she had a big bandage on her nose. The first thing I thought was that she must have got a nose job. Then I thought no... its probably something else. Well, I asked her what happened to her nose and she said, Well, I got it fixed. (hehe!)" I asked her why she did it and she said, "I needed it." Her nose looked fine before! It had a hint of Arabness in it. It wasn't small, and it was sort of hook shaped, but not at all ugly. Her dad is lebanese. Now it's small in the middle, turned up a bit at the end, and I guess is what most people would consider a beautiful nose. It disgusts me. Why would you change who you are to aspire to something so superficial and manufactured? She's got the looks, I'll give her that. She has curly soft brown hair, she's about 5'7'' and shes thin and muscular. And now she has the nose too. But she's not beautiful. It just made me feel really weird. I don't know why.

"One thing we know for certain, though, is that quintessence is a fundamentally fickle force. Early in the universe's history, quintessence was all-powerful, frantically driving inflation in the first moments after the Big Bang. For ages afterward, it lay quietly in space, struggling half-heartedly against gravity and allowing the universe to slowly expand. Today, however, quintessence seems to have returned to full-force, slapping gravity out of the way as it accelerates the universal expansion."

Hocus pocus! Pishaw! You people are crazy. Go ahead, read more
of this lazy, immoral filth. I don't care.

~Dark House~

This is a dark house, very big.
I made it myself,
Cell by cell from a quiet corner,
Chewing at the grey paper,
Oozing the glue drops,
Whistling, wiggling my ears,
Thinking of something else.

It has so many cellars,
Such eelish delvings!
U an round as an owl,
I see by my own light.
Any day I may litter puppies
Or mother a horse. My belly moves.
I must make more maps.

These marrowy tunnels!
Moley-handed, I eat my way.
All-mouth licks up the bushes
And the pots of meat.
He lives in an old well,
A stoney hole. He's to blame.
He's a fat sort.

Pebble smells, turnipy chambers.
Small nostrils are breathing.
Little humble loves!
Footlings, boneless as noses,
It is warm and tolerable
In the bowel of the root.
Here's a cuddly mother.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

How my sister tried to kill me last night

So last night I was outside trying to get my cat to come in at about 1 am. It was so beautiful! It was a little bit breezy and the sky was clear and I could see stars. So I layed down on the driveway, and I just stayed there for a long time, thinking about things, and it was nice.

I had strange dreams last night. In the first one I was holding a bird skeleton in my hand and mashing potatos with it at dinner. I liked the way the mashed potatos squished out through the bird's rib cage. Then I dreamed about physics. Well, it was sort of a nightmare. I had a test coming up and I didn't want to study for it, but I had to. So I was studying and studying like crazy and then the teacher gave us a last minute assignment - we had to plant a rose somewhere. The problem was, I had no place to plant it. I went searching for some place where I could put it, I looked everywhere, and finally I was out in a barren field and there was a cement structure, and under it, there was soft dark mud. So I crawled under the cement box and planted my rose. I remember being worried about it, so I went back a little later and Bill Cosby was standing there, and my rose was uprooted and thrown to the side. He said "You KNOW you can't plant it there! You know what you're doing." I yelled and said, "Well you know why I planted it there." And then I said, "Ok, fine I'll take it somewhere else." Then I waited for him to walk away and replanted it.

Then I was inside of my brother's computer game - the Medal of Honor game. I was the digital man running through the digital landscape, there was barbed wire, guns and explosions, and the sky was grey and cold. You know how they do that panoramic view thing at the beginning of those games? With the dramatic music and the "camera" sweeping in an enormous circle around the hero, closing in slowly on the "hero's" head? Well that was me in the middle of the circle. I saw my skeleton, I was a skeleton dressed in rags, then I started running. I came back to that barren field and there was my rose, but there was a car beside the cement box, and a woman was inside of it dressed in a white night gown. It was my sister! I don't have a sister but in the dream, she was my sister. She had long tangled hair. She got out of the car and came after me. I started running as fast as I could. She was furious at me for something I'd done, and I felt guilty. I was wearing a big winter coat and big boots, and it was hard to run, she was gaining on me. I remember thinking, but I'm a guy! I should be able to outrun her. She tackled me behind an outhouse and we struggled. She pulled a piece of wood off of the outhouse and tried to stab me with it. I threw her off, and started running again. I kept looking over my sholder back at her. There was blood on her dress, and her arm was raised above her head, with the wooden dagger pointing at me.

And that was it. I wonder what it all means.

Life is a marooned sequenced woman at a ball waiting.... waiting.... waiting... When will she come? When will we go to the moon and envelope the world in a giant mushroom cloud of love and... shroomy things! In the fourth grade, they sat crouched on rocks trying to catch minnows with broken beer bottles. A year ago, they ran and played on the slide and climbed on things. Then they were there again to do it all over again. Again and again and there I was, watching them. Is life too long? Will she ever cross the room, and sweep me off my feet again?

I'm A Good Old Rebel

"Oh, I'm a good old Rebel
Now that's just what I am
For this fair land of freedom
I do not care a damn.
I'm glad I fit against it
I only wish we'd won.
And I don't want no pardon
For anything I've done.
I hates the Constitution
This great Republic too
I hates the Freedmen's Buro
In uniforms of blue.
I hates the nasty eagle
With all his brag and fuss
But the lyin', thievin' Yankees
I hates' em wuss and wuss.

Three hundred thousand Yankees
Lies still in Southern dust
We got three hundred thousand
Before they conquered us
They died of Southern fever
And Southern steel and shot
I wish they was three million
Instead of what we got.

I can't take up my musket
And fight' em now no mo'
But I ain't a-goin'to love' em
Now that is sartin sho'
And I don't want no pardon
For what I was and am
And I won't be reconstructed
And I do not give a damn."

Enjoy more good old American folk songs here.
(I had it linked to Jeffrey's blog before because I copied and pasted html stuff from the template. rarr!)

Which Action Star Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Hasta la Vista, baby.

Find out which But I'm A Cheerleader girl you are.


So Tom, do you believe me now? I'm not a lesbian! sheesh...

Druggedly

"In the summer when the days are hot,
I like to find a shady spot,
And hardly move a single bit
And sit, and sit, and sit, and sit."

Metaphysical enchantment in the late afternoon while I'm bored

Summer

When it's hot
I take my shoes off
I take my shirt off
I take my pants off
I take my underwear off
I take my whole body off
and throw it in the river.

Frank Asch

oh this
is just too cool!

Shrek

For the past week I've had this song stuck in my head. The only part that's stuck and keeps repeating over and over is the part that goes "Hallelujah Hallelujah" I looked up the rest of the lyrics, and they're sort of strange, but they're beautiful too, very haunting if you ask me. Here they are:

~Hallelujah~
rufus wainwright

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
Its not a cry you can hear at night
Its not somebody who's seen the light
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I am not a rock.

I miss people. :(

I feel like I haven't had a real human face to face conversation with someone other than my parents, or my brother in an eternity. I talk to my lab parters in physics. Billy put a wire between my toes yesterday when i was listening to the lab instructer, and then he tried to get a current going through it. And he's 25! See why women say men never grow up? There's a girl who sits 2 rows away from me who I would love to get to know. She hardly ever says anything, has long thin wavy hair, and a very unique mexican face. She's skinny and quiet and plain and yet she has this amazing presence. She looks eternal, like she could've been the girl sitting for Leonardo Da vinci instead of Mona lisa.

There's also a guy who sits 3 chairs behind me in class, and 2 tables away from me in lab, and he's never said anything either. What is it with these people!! He looks like there is so much to know about him, but I'm almost scared to approach him. He has this strange smile, like he knows some wonderful secret that he's not telling anyone. I've been tempted to pass him a note in class that says "i want to know everything about you." but I don't because I'm afraid it might freak him out.

Matt - why did you have to go santa fe! and Jacob quit ignorning me, and Aisha, I am going to call you today, and we'll do things.

maybe i will feel better.