Wait, that wasn't much better. To quote an old friend, "I am not a man, I am a woman!" I hope that clears everything up.

Bagpipes are so melancholy and whistful but they are beautiful and hopeful too. I can't sleep, so I was listening to the theme to Braveheart which usually puts me to sleep. It made me think that bagpipes are another thing I want in life. I want a lovely hooka, and bagpipes. That is all.

Ok, let me retract the previous statement. I don't want MY arms to be manly, I just want manly arms holding my bagpipes.

I want bagpipes! I want a red skirt and hairy legs, and manly arms to hold my bagpipes with. And blue face paint on half of my face, and nothing, nothing at all on my bum.

My dog is pretty much deaf now. If I want him to hear me I have to pick up his shaggy ears and yell. He has alot of health problems and it is only getting worse. He doesn't seem to be in too much pain. I just hope he doesn't end up in a lot of pain.

The dog I really loved died a few years ago. I never thought I could feel so much pain from an animal's death. I love Peter too (the dog that is still alive) but not the way I loved Dustie. Dustie was shaggy and small but very strong. He could run for miles. He loved for me to scoop him up and hold him. He would get so happy that he would slobber all over and try to lick me to death. I loved him so much! Peter is a good dog too but he was my brother's dog. He's not nearly as sloppy and affectionate. He never licks us and doesn't like to be held. He's more of a gentleman, I guess.

Man! It is sweltering. The air conditioner died. It's 83 in the house and rising.

I don't remember liking Shel Silverstein's books very much when I was little. I didn't think they were that great and in my little mind I thought "I could write that!" Now that I am a wise 19 year old I realize how wrong I was. His poems are really neat.

The Little Boy and the Old Man
Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the little old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
"But worst of all," said the little boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

yep. :)

This is the story of Ave Maria. She was named for the music that was playing, when, in a moment of scarlet passion her mother came, and her father came, “ayeeeeeee! Aye, ohhhhh Melona! oh Ahmed” almost at the same time, one of the few times they were so fortunate. Their sighs were the same sighs that have come from the mouths of women and men for thousands of years, that are as familiar and dear to the ears as are the sounds of a baby’s first cries, when drenched in the 9-month blood of his mother’s womb. Her mother’s hands dug into her father’s back, and left marks there, and as she arched against his body, the notes of Beethoven’s Ave Maria boomed from the kitchen. Ave Maria was to sit on the green couch in the living room where she was conceived hundreds of times – playing with her dolls, standing on her head, reading books, eating dinner in front of the TV, sleeping, and planning her future, and her 4 younger sibling’s demise.

I'm home! First 2 years of college are done. I didn't sleep from Monday morning at 9 am until 3am Wednesday morning. Thats 42 hours. I was busy the entire time. I wrote up a project, turned it in, ate dinner at Miltos to say goodbye to Lia, helped move Lia, wrote a paper, took a shower, watched "The Last Emperor" at Eve's house, came back to campus, wrote another paper, spent a few hours with Argyrios and Alex as they packed up their room, said goodbye to Argyrios, went and looked for boxes that were supposedly in the Pharmacy building, didn't find the boxes, so I went back to my room, started packing, went over to Melissa's, went to the post office with Melissa, went to HEB to get boxes with Melissa, said goodbye to her, went back to my room, returned books to the library, said bye to Alex, turned in some paperwork to the UTeach office, went to the lab, talked to the Riggses, and then I took a break and went and sat on the roof of Patterson. I sat there for about half an hour - when the bell tower rang at 5:15, I left. But it was a long 30 minutes of quiet. I sat on the bench and looked out over the campus and out at the trees over Mt. Bonell. I didn't know what to think or feel, so I just sat there and felt the sun. I love sitting up on the roof because it makes all the people on the ground look tiny and insignificant. Everything looks different when you haven't slept in that long. I hated coming down because then I must continue with my own life. I came down at 5:15 and went to a party with the bird class to say goodbye to Dr. Barth. It was a tiring and stressful party. I came back to the room at 10pm and started packing again. Stayed up till 3 to finish packing. Slept until 7:30am when my mommy finally came and we moved out.

I'm home in Irving for the summer. A cold front came in yesterday and today is windy and cool - probably the last windy cool day until September becuase this is Texas and Texas loves to be hot. I'm not going anywhere interesting this summer. Maybe Missouri for a family reunion. I'm going to go job hunting on Monday. Today we're having a party for Adam's graduation. Thats about all. yep. One final thought! "God bless those pagans." Tonight about 50 muslims will infiltrate our house, and eat up all of our food. Muslims are always late, but when they come they eat and eat and eat, and they talk loudly in a mixture of Arabic, English and Spanish (at least the ones we know) and it doesn't stop! Most of the families my parents know have more than 4 kids. The kids run around like crazy. They love my mom because she usually always has fun things for them to do. She sets up tents in the backyard and gets down all of our old toys and gives them candy when they leave. "Khala Marcia, Khala Marcia!" Thats what Sabra's boys call my mother. The adults act like they don't have kids when they come over, and just sit around and talk and drink tea and coffee. The men and women usually split up. The women end up in the kitchen, and the men go somewhere else. It makes me tired just thinking about it. I will be happy when the party is over.

A decleration! From "The Brains of the Operation," Yours Truely

Henceforth the Corner of Dean Keaton and Whitis Avenue, in this city of Austin, in this county of Travis, in this country of Texas, on this continent of North America, on this planet Earth, Shall Be Forever Known As "the yay." This Name Is To Be In Lowercase Letters. Any Reference To the yay That Does Not Call It the yay Will Be Disgarded As Stupid, Silly and Irrelevant.

I've been having strange dreams this week. I have dreamed:
- Lia got pregnant and Michael Moore turned out to be the father
- My brother lives in Blanton and has several girlfriends
- I'm in love with a girl.

Don't make any assumptions about the workings of my subconsious mind based upon these dreams. These are the dreams of a garbled mind in a grabled time, when sleep comes in 4 hour increments.

The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
-Charles du Bois

My brother is graduating today! At 7pm tonight he'll sit through his first graduation. I'm so proud of him, I wish I could be there. I will be here, in Austin, 3 hours away, sitting in my room trying to learn genetics as fast as I can. My genetics final is Friday morning at 9 am. My field ornithology final is in about 8 hours. I hope I do well. I've been studying alot for it, but it seems there is always more to learn. I love this time of the semester and I hate it. It's so invigorating but it's draining at the same time. I never feel like I have enough time to learn all that I need to learn. But thats my own fault.

Dear God, I am praying that I make at least a B in organic. It is the hardest class I have ever taken, even harder than waves was last semester. I think it's hard in a different way, and Dr. Meyer doesn't help matters. I have learned so much this semester from him and I'm grateful for that. But his tests are unfair and inordinatly difficult. I like taking them because I learn from them but they make me want to cry. On this last test I thought I did really well. But I made a 45 on it. Apparently only 30 out of 120 people made above a 50. I wish I had been among them.

If I become a teacher someday I will be the best damn teacher I can be. If I become a doctor, well, I'll try not to hurt my patients. I will give them love and hope and I will try to cure them! I hope I can get into medical school.

Happy Birthday dad. Ana habeebic kiteer giden giden. When I get home I am going to cook a cake.

I am a chemistry major now. Officially I have been 4 different majors and unofficially I have had 6. I started off Plan II/Astronomy, then I decided to do physics and biology, then I decided to just do biology, then I thought biochemistry, but I think I like plain old chemistry the best. So I am a Chemistry major. I also might get a B.A. in biology and teaching certification. I can't wait for finals week to be over. My heart is already at home.

Also, go see Barton Fink! It is a very good movie.

new blog! yes, i know, it's my fourth. I seem to be a wee bit addicted. www.ilovebirds.blogspot.com