Oh yeah! I almost forgot to write about today. I felt like a fish today. My legs were fins, my cheeks were gills, my eyes were on the side of my head. I went to Barton springs and I had my own goggles and everything. I swam through the freezing water, looking at the people's legs, and the algea covered rocks on the bottom and the long flowing kelp, or whatever its called, growing up from the bottom. I looked for the springs, which they say you can see, but I couldn't find them. It was peaceful and wonderful, under the water, it is silent, green, brown, blue, and the only thing I want to say is "blub. blub. blub." Ok back to studying. :)

I have a HOME! It includes a living room, a kitchen, half a bedroom for me, half a bedroom for Nida, a bedroom for Lia, and a long funny bathroom. I have cooked some things in my kitchen, including lentils, rice, eggs and grits and thats about all. I think everything is turning out ok, with a few things to iron out. I don't know why but I just haven't felt like writing in this blog lately. I feel pretty good right now minus a few sad things, a few icky things, and a few life things. Life is a struggle, a constant, strange, never resting struggle that doesn't go anywhere in particular. College is a funny place. UT has about 40000 young energetic people, mostly very filthy rich by world standards, and yet those 40000 people don't seem any closer to being happy and content than the world's poorest, tiredest people. Age, religion, money, seem to have nothing to do with a person's inner peace or joy for that matter. So go find some joy folks!

I can't sleep! That's all folks.

Acceptance
by Robert Frost

When the spent sun throws up its rays on cloud
And goes down burning into the gulf below,
No voice in nature is heard to cry aloud
At what has happened. Birds, at least must know
It is the change to darkness in the sky.
Murmuring something quiet in her breast,
One bird begins to close a faded eye;
Or overtaken too far from his nest,
Hurrying low above the grove, some waif
Swoops just in time to his remembered tree.
At most he thinks or twitters softly, "Safe!
Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be, be."

I bet New York City and all the places where there has been a power outage had a great night for looking at the stars. It really looks like this!



I've only seen such a dark sky twice. The first time I ever saw the milky way was in Oklahoma in the middle of nowhere. It made me dizzy and it took me a long time to convince my mom that the white fuzziness spread across the sky wasn't a cloud. It was one of the most spectacular nights of my life. It was almost spiritual, to be out in such a quiet dark place, and look up at a sky filled with a million lights. I could barely see my hand in front of my face, and the sky was so thick with stars that in some places it was a white blur. That was 3 summers ago, before I went to college. It was a star party with this astronomy club I was in, and the directions to get to the "Dark Sky spot" went something like this:

1. Drive north on I-35
2. Take some other highway
3. Turn onto the 3rd dirt road past Robertson's Hams.
4. Go past 4 dirt road intersections.
5. Turn left
6. Drive a bit, and turn right.
7. Look for a gate on the right.
(or something like that)

There were hundreds of people, and many rules to be followed. No white lights!! If you shined your headlights people might attack you. Amature astronomers are passionate and violent when it comes to light pollution. One was arrested a few years ago for throwing rocks at street lamps. At this star party there were about 100 people who felt that there was nothing wrong with throwing rocks at street lamps. (well, maybe not 100 people, but most everyone at least felt sympathetic towards the man who got arrested). There were huge telescopes and small telescopes. My mom and I stayed until about 4 in the morning before she said she couldn't stay any more. We couldn't turn any lights on, or even open the trunk because of the trunk light. Any light would ruin photographs of galaxies and nebulae that take hours to develop. We had to get my telescope into the trunk, so we used a large blanket thrown over the trunk to keep the light from shining out. I had a Dobsonian 8 inch telescope that cost me 500 dollars. It was one of the smallest cheapest ones out there! People told us not to leave, that we would get lost, but we didn't listen. Most people stay till morning. I had to stand right in front of the car and guide my mom with a red flashlight as she drove the car. Red light is ok. Well we got lost, on these small dirt roads in the backwoods of Oklahomy. It was frightening but very exciting. Large tangled trees covered the sky mostly. Guess how we got out? I knew that the Pleides rose in the early morning in the western sky, so I could figure out the directions. Aren't I cool. :)

It made me smile yesterday when I saw the news that in New York City, Canada and other places there is a huge power outage. I knew that the amature astronomers up there would be giddy with happiness. There are not many places left on the East coast where the sky is not polluted with light. Though there is an active anti-light pollution lobby that tries to get laws passed to control light pollution, I think it will be a long time before we see the Milky Way in the city again.


Light pollution map of US

Hello! I'm a purple gallinule. My name rhymes with mule and yule and fuel.

"DEATH, to die, to expire, to pass on, to perish, to peg out, to push up dasies, to push up posies, to become extinct, curtains, deceased, demised, departed and defunct, dead as a doornail, dead as a herring, dead as mutton, dead as nits, the last breath, paying a debt to nature, The Big Sleep, God's way of saying:Slow down, to check out, To shuffle off this mortal coil, To head for the happy hunting ground, To blink,for an exceptionally long period of time, To find oneself without breath, To be The Incredible Decaying Man, Worm Buffet, Kick the bucket,Buy the farm, take the cab, Cash in your chips"

When the children cry, let them know we tried. When the children sing, then the new world begins

Nobody can look at a cute little baby that is flailing it's little legs and arms in the air, looking helpless with it's chubby cheeks, and soft belly and big bulky diaper and not smile. Just try it! Look at this picture and try not to smile:



It's funny, at the park, when people walk past each other, they usually look at the other person's kid or dog, and smile and say "hi there!" But the adults avoid each other's eyes mostly. It's because babies and dogs don't look at a person and think "he has a crooked nose... he's fat... he's old... I wonder if he's looking at my breasts" Well, they may be thinking that, but it is without any maliciousness, or judgement. They look at a person with pure curiosity and innocence. We adults don't trust each other. I think that Alex might be right this one time. Human beings are not naturally greedy and mean and ugly. Although some are more ambitious than others, we are basically lovable meatballs.

Anarchism could work. I think a great experiment, someday when we get warp drive, would be to take a colony somewhere and start over. Only take people who believe in working cooperatively and believe that no one person should acquire too much power. Then, they could have kids and teach their kids nothing but good things, and never reward selfishness or encourage greed.

It would not be a utopia. Wherever people go, you're going to have problems, but I think it could be better than it is today. Our world today is better in a lot of ways than it was 250 years ago. 250 years ago, white Americans still had black slaves and were still murdering Native Americans. We're not doing that anymore.

We don't need warp drive to improve things. We need people to start believing in what they believed in when they were kids.

"the natural consequence of human freedom"

The bigger ones beat up the smaller ones, the more ambitious ones acquire more power than the less ambitious ones and the war-like demolish the peace-like. That's what would happen in an anarcho-capitalist system! The problem with anarcho-capitalism is that it gets rid of all the checks and balances. If we're going to have capitalism, we need government too.

In left-anarchism, all the problems are theoretically taken care-of. There is no government to become corrupted by power, and there is no economic way for one person to acquire too much power on their own. The problem is that all people don't like equality. Some people want the opportunity to work hard and be better than everyone else, economically, politically or in other ways. Even if 95% of the people are content with what they have, the 5% that are discontent and power-hungry would run amuck and ruin everything.

I wish anarchism could work, but I don't think it ever could. Unless we figure out some sort of breeding system where we don't allow war-like people to have children. Anyone with too much ambition and whack! Off with your loins! No babies for you Mr. Ambition! It works with dogs. People have been breeding them for years, and now we have some breeds that are vicious and unpredictable like pit bulls and dobermans, and we have others that are so peaceful and meek that they pee on your foot when they finally see you after not seeing you all day. To make anarchism work, we would not only have to re-engineer society, but we would have to re-engineer people.

Today is August 5th. 3 years ago, my friend Barbara was having a baby. She was in great pain. But eventually out popped a little boy named Able. :) This weekend we are going to a 50 cent theater in Lewisville to see "Daddy Daycare" and then we will take the kids to McDonald's to play. I'm going with Barbara and Able and Aisha and her two kids Jennan and Jamal. It'll be fun. I love kids especially the ones that aren't my own. I plan on being a wacky aunt wendall some day. I'm still not sure I want kids of my own, but I will do everything in my power to make sure my brother decides to fall in love with a very fertile woman. All I have to do is examine her hip ratio. I have read that the ideal hip-to-waist ratio for fertility is 0.7 So, any girl he brings home, I'm whippin out the measuring tape!

I'm at work right now but I'm not working. I decided to just work 6 hours today, but I can't go home yet because I don't have the car today. My mom had to drive me to work because the car is getting it's air conditioning fixed.

So, I am rambling. Rambling is fun. I wish I had something insightful to say. Today has been a long day. I feel tired and listless. I am excited about school starting and getting back to Austin. I am formulating wonderful plans! Anyone who wants to partake in these plans, let me know! I am coming up with ideas for those few precious days before school starts. A practical joke of unbeforeseen greatness will be played on someone. You don't know who you are, so don't try to find out! I want to go to Barton Springs and splash and play in the water. Or we could go cliff diving, or to Enchanted Rock. We should also have a pajama party, you know, to play scrabble and boggle.


I am signed up for Organic Chemistry II, Physical Chemistry, Microbiology, and Arabic. I do not have Dr. Meyer for Organic Chemistry this time, so hopefully I will be able to make a better grade. I bought a bike at Walmart for 56 dollars a few days ago to get me to and from school. I plan on making the lab my base. I don't want to go back to the apartment during the day, so I'll bring my lunch with me in the morning. If I plan my time carefully I should have time to play at night.

Well I'm going to read for a while until my mom gets here. Buenos nochas senioritas y los senioritos.

It has come to my attention that my links list causes jealousy and upsetness. For example, Grouse thinks that I like Free Encyclopedia and Kan's News Blues better than him. So from now on my links list will be in alphabetical order.

I was thinking the other day, like I do sometimes, and this is what I thought. In our culture we create hunger. When people are full, we trick ourselves into thinking we are empty. When a person has desires, dreams, aspirations, ambitions, she is alive. A person without desire, ambition or dreaming is an outcast. Not necessarily an outcast but that person is no longer of interest or a part "of." They are not really alive. To live is to always struggle and consume, to increase everything and run from nothing. To desire, to reach for, to acheive more. This is life. Death - to no longer struggle, to accept what is, to not desire, to never extend your reach beyond what is simple.

By accepting death, we could live in peace. But peace is not good for the economy. A peaceful person does not crave or yearn for more and more. But our economy is good only when people buy more and more.

It creates a society that is fat but never full. It creates a life that looks at the world and asks "what can I take from this?" It creates a a present that can not really be enjoyed. It creates scorn of the self and other people, and constant competition.

Feed the system and the system feeds you. Without the system, we are not sure what we would do. We might build another. We might accept hunger if we can be fat. We might even enjoy hunger, and it might be filling. Hunger is an amazing thing. We do everything in our power to run from it, but without it, we would not run. We would stand still. Then what would happen? Hunger is loving someone who doesn't love you in return. It is bitter, but wonderful to feel so much emotion that every moment is different because you are hungry. It's a biological thing, and it's a chemical thing.